Note: I'll try to catch up a little but will probably be a few days behind the actual chapter updates from now on, especially since she's going to drop about 10k words when the novel goes into VIP.
Shen Ni kicks open the door of her workshop and places Bian Jin on her workbench, lowering the intensity of the lamp to make it less glaring as she does so. Bian Jin reflects that she hasn’t been held by anyone for a long time. The last person was Shen Ni, when she’d been a child. And now she’s being held by Shen Ni still, but everything is different.
Given the state of her spine, Bian Jin can’t sit up straight, and wobbles unsteadily. Shen Ni puts an arm around Bian Jin and tells Bian Jin to lean on her. With her free hand, Shen Ni lays her cloak over the workbench, to make it warmer for Bian Jin. Bian Jin continues to refrain from looking at Shen Ni as Shen Ni lays her on the workbench on her back.
Shen Ni goes to mix an anaesthetic, so that she can roll Bian Jin over painlessly. But even as she’s doing so, Bian Jin attempts to roll over herself. Shen Ni sees this, and goes to give her a hand. With Shen Ni’s help, Bian Jin is able to roll herself over, but it exhausts most of her strength. She’s sweating, trembling, and breathing heavily.
Shen Ni knows that, even with Bian Jin’s extraordinary resilience, she’s at the limit of her strength. Placing a hand on Bian Jin’s pelvis, she scans Bian Jin with her built-in palm scanner, and confirms that Bian Jin’s jade core is 96% damaged and can no longer be used. Bian Jin’s spine also needs to be replaced, even though Shen Ni hasn’t fully tested the replacement spine out yet.
There’s also the issue of the jade core. If the jade core is fully destroyed while it’s in Bian Jin’s body, she’s likely to die. Shen Ni had been crafting a new jade core for Bian Jin, but it’s not fully completed yet. She decides, however, that she’s just going to have to risk installing the new jade core. Bian Jin can then use both the new jade core and the new spine while she continues to monitor them and make adjustments.
Shen Ni then realises that’s she still got an arm wrapped around Bian Jin’s waist, and thinks about how slim it is, and how thin Bian Jin has become. Bian Jin too, realises that she’s fully within Shen Ni’s grasp and under Shen Ni’s control. This makes her feel weak. Her voice trembling with pain, she asks if Shen Ni can allow her to take control of the mechanical arm used for repairs.
Shen Ni asks if she’s planning to repair herself. Bian Jin replies unsteadily that she’s repaired her own broken leg before. Shen Ni laughs lightly then, and says quite directly that, given Bian Jin’s mediocre mechanical skills, she’s not going to be able to treat her own strong and talented body the way it deserves. She adds, ‘The only person who can repair you, is me.’
Bian Jin thinks to herself that Shen Ni has finally ripped off the mask of mild benevolence she’s been wearing all this while. She glances over her shoulder at Shen Ni, a glance that seems almost submissive, seductive. But Shen Ni knows that’s impossible — that it is, in fact, a glance from a woman who’s burning from the indignity she is being subjected to.
Shen Ni cleans her hands using a supersonic vibration device, then sprays anti-bacterial spray everywhere. She turns to see that Bian Jin has placed a hand palm-down on the workbench by her waist, and seems to be trying to prop herself up. Opposite Bian Jin is a floor-length mirror. In its reflection, they can both see that she’s covered in sweat, her lips are unnaturally red, and on her face is an unaccustomed expression of weakness. She seems so fragile that anyone could shatter her easily.
Shen Ni’s heart aches uncontrollably as she wonders how Bian Jin could have sunk to such levels. She reflects that, perhaps Bian Jin could bear with it more easily if someone other than Shen Ni were carrying out the repairs — but who else would devote her all to repairing Bian Jin, or have the ability to perform to do it in the first place?
Shen Ni grabs Bian Jin’s wrist, and says with a sort of studied harshness, ‘Stop worrying, shijie. Right now, I’m a doctor, and you’re my patient. To me, you’re just a broken machine, and I could never harbour designs on a broken machine. If you insist on leaving this workbench, you’ll be dead before you can get to the door.’
Bian Jin pauses in the face of Shen Ni’s words. Then Shen Ni cuffs each of Bian Jin’s limbs to the workbench with the leather cuffs that have been fixed to its surface. Bian Jin protests, calling out her full name: ‘Shen Ni!’ But Shen Ni merely tells her that this is necessary to prevent re-injury.
The tips of Bian Jin’s ears are already crimson as Shen Ni injects her with anaesthetic (via the port in her pelvis). Suddenly, she recalls the shattered snow globe, and how there might not be another one available for her to buy. She asks Shen Ni, ‘Do you do this to all your women?’ and falls into unconsciousness.
Shen Ni turns that last sentence over in her mind. Bian Jin had referred to their relationship as one between two ‘women’, not one between shijie and shimei, or between friends who’d grown up together. This is something that’s never happened before, and it doesn’t seem like Bian Jin.
Shen Ni remembers the familiar-sounding footsteps she heard outside the entrance of Firewall Construction HQ while Diwu Que was hugging her, and wonders. She suddenly wants to ruffle Bian Jin’s hair, but feels that she doesn’t have the right. The ticking of the countdown to the effects of the anaesthetic wearing off reminds her that she needs to get to work.
She sterlises a pair of scissors and cuts Bian Jin’s robes open from the back (rather than rolling her over again to get to the ties at the front). Then she realises that Bian Jin is wearing one of the outfits Shen Ni gifted her for their wedding, which Bian Jin had previously told Auntie Wan was too bright for her. And yet Bian Jin had put it on, to go out with Shen Ni for the Shangyuan festivities. Bearing that in mind, Shen Ni wonders what Bian Jin felt when she saw her ‘wife’ being embraced by a strange woman. She also wonders how Bian Jin got so seriously injured.
Shen Ni carefully slices Bian Jin’s skin open, and covers up the rest of her with a surgical blanket, leaving only the small part of her body that requires attention exposed. Shen Ni works intensively, battling against the clock. Finally, she manages to remove Bian Jin’s jade core, and holds it in her hand. She remembers how excited Bian Jin had been the night before their shizun installed it in her body.
Then Shen Ni chucks the product of their shizun’s life’s work carelessly into a nearby bin, and draws out the jade core that she crafted for Bian Jin. She isn’t going to call it a ‘jade core’; it’s ‘Ni’s heart’, created exclusively for one person only. Shen Ni was only six years old when she was seized with the inspiration for it, and it’s taken her so many years to acquire the skill and financial means to actually craft it.
Shen Ni places ‘Ni’s heart’ into Bian Jin’s body and connects the new spine to it. Then she activates it. Bian Jin’s slumbering body trembles with the force of the new energy running through it, but the leather cuffs hold her securely to the workbench. Once the indicators show that the new jade core is fully activated, and that Bian Jin’s vital signs are returning gradually to normal, Shen Ni finally relaxes.
Shen Ni raises her weary head, her reddened eyes reflecting the newly-risen sun. She checks the date, and sees that three full days have passed since the Shangyuan festival. They must have taken down the Great Wheel of Fire by now, she thinks.
Tech watch: Too much stuff to enumerate Named men: 6.5 Reverse Bechdel passes: 0
WHEW this was basically an extended sex scene wasn't it. I feel in many ways it's the pinnacle of fandom sensibility combined with actual canonical structure.
I still think something is going on with that great big fire wheel thing.
Boy, Shen Ni sure connected the dots pretty quickly ... figuring out almost instantly why Bian Jin said what she did before blacking out. I guess she's very in-tuned with Bian Jin. As one should be with the love of her life. :-)
Thoughts on this chapter: wow, that sure happened.
Okay but for real...
- Nearly incapacitated, pushing through without a word, reaching the absolute limits of her endurance is such a good look on Bian Jin. And every time her extreme pain tolerance is mentioned or demonstrated I gain years to my lifespan.
- (as Shen Ni is laying her on the operating table) Shen Ni's torso cast a shadow that enveloped Bian Jin... oh, no metaphors here, I'm sure.
- Bian Jin asking/trying/intending to like... field-medicine herself through this??? This is my entire jam. Bian Jin what the fuck.
- The part where Shen Ni is like nah any hint of gentleness/submission in Bian Jin is an illusion or is actually something else... one of the things I enjoy in weaponisation themes is the way it sometimes plays with the idea of these perceptions as a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. Bian Jin is (was) the blade of the empire, a machine, without gentleness or softness - and if all those around her see her as such, how long or to what extent can she hold to the humanity she does in fact possess? Catnip to me, every time.
- The part where Shen Ni grips Bian Jin's wrist and says, deliberately cutting, 'You're overthinking it, Shijie. I am the doctor, you are the patient. In my eyes you are nothing but a broken machine, and who could harbour designs on a broken machine?'. The face I made at this. Deliberate cruelty is such a good look on Shen Ni, I'm kind of obsessed.
- You know that fanfic trope where it's like 'X wished they could curl up inside Y's ribcage and live there'? Anyway.
- 逆芯... girl I hope you don't think you're being subtle.
Nearly incapacitated, pushing through without a word, reaching the absolute limits of her endurance is such a good look on Bian Jin. And every time her extreme pain tolerance is mentioned or demonstrated I gain years to my lifespan.
I will not spoil but you are in for such a treat. A series of treats, even.
I read this and the next chapter and immediately went, 'I MUST MAKE EVERYONE READ THIS.'
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baihe_media2024-06-23 09:25 pm
Chapter 17
Given the state of her spine, Bian Jin can’t sit up straight, and wobbles unsteadily. Shen Ni puts an arm around Bian Jin and tells Bian Jin to lean on her. With her free hand, Shen Ni lays her cloak over the workbench, to make it warmer for Bian Jin. Bian Jin continues to refrain from looking at Shen Ni as Shen Ni lays her on the workbench on her back.
Shen Ni goes to mix an anaesthetic, so that she can roll Bian Jin over painlessly. But even as she’s doing so, Bian Jin attempts to roll over herself. Shen Ni sees this, and goes to give her a hand. With Shen Ni’s help, Bian Jin is able to roll herself over, but it exhausts most of her strength. She’s sweating, trembling, and breathing heavily.
Shen Ni knows that, even with Bian Jin’s extraordinary resilience, she’s at the limit of her strength. Placing a hand on Bian Jin’s pelvis, she scans Bian Jin with her built-in palm scanner, and confirms that Bian Jin’s jade core is 96% damaged and can no longer be used. Bian Jin’s spine also needs to be replaced, even though Shen Ni hasn’t fully tested the replacement spine out yet.
There’s also the issue of the jade core. If the jade core is fully destroyed while it’s in Bian Jin’s body, she’s likely to die. Shen Ni had been crafting a new jade core for Bian Jin, but it’s not fully completed yet. She decides, however, that she’s just going to have to risk installing the new jade core. Bian Jin can then use both the new jade core and the new spine while she continues to monitor them and make adjustments.
Shen Ni then realises that’s she still got an arm wrapped around Bian Jin’s waist, and thinks about how slim it is, and how thin Bian Jin has become. Bian Jin too, realises that she’s fully within Shen Ni’s grasp and under Shen Ni’s control. This makes her feel weak. Her voice trembling with pain, she asks if Shen Ni can allow her to take control of the mechanical arm used for repairs.
Shen Ni asks if she’s planning to repair herself. Bian Jin replies unsteadily that she’s repaired her own broken leg before. Shen Ni laughs lightly then, and says quite directly that, given Bian Jin’s mediocre mechanical skills, she’s not going to be able to treat her own strong and talented body the way it deserves. She adds, ‘The only person who can repair you, is me.’
Bian Jin thinks to herself that Shen Ni has finally ripped off the mask of mild benevolence she’s been wearing all this while. She glances over her shoulder at Shen Ni, a glance that seems almost submissive, seductive. But Shen Ni knows that’s impossible — that it is, in fact, a glance from a woman who’s burning from the indignity she is being subjected to.
Shen Ni cleans her hands using a supersonic vibration device, then sprays anti-bacterial spray everywhere. She turns to see that Bian Jin has placed a hand palm-down on the workbench by her waist, and seems to be trying to prop herself up. Opposite Bian Jin is a floor-length mirror. In its reflection, they can both see that she’s covered in sweat, her lips are unnaturally red, and on her face is an unaccustomed expression of weakness. She seems so fragile that anyone could shatter her easily.
Shen Ni’s heart aches uncontrollably as she wonders how Bian Jin could have sunk to such levels. She reflects that, perhaps Bian Jin could bear with it more easily if someone other than Shen Ni were carrying out the repairs — but who else would devote her all to repairing Bian Jin, or have the ability to perform to do it in the first place?
Shen Ni grabs Bian Jin’s wrist, and says with a sort of studied harshness, ‘Stop worrying, shijie. Right now, I’m a doctor, and you’re my patient. To me, you’re just a broken machine, and I could never harbour designs on a broken machine. If you insist on leaving this workbench, you’ll be dead before you can get to the door.’
Bian Jin pauses in the face of Shen Ni’s words. Then Shen Ni cuffs each of Bian Jin’s limbs to the workbench with the leather cuffs that have been fixed to its surface. Bian Jin protests, calling out her full name: ‘Shen Ni!’ But Shen Ni merely tells her that this is necessary to prevent re-injury.
The tips of Bian Jin’s ears are already crimson as Shen Ni injects her with anaesthetic (via the port in her pelvis). Suddenly, she recalls the shattered snow globe, and how there might not be another one available for her to buy. She asks Shen Ni, ‘Do you do this to all your women?’ and falls into unconsciousness.
Shen Ni turns that last sentence over in her mind. Bian Jin had referred to their relationship as one between two ‘women’, not one between shijie and shimei, or between friends who’d grown up together. This is something that’s never happened before, and it doesn’t seem like Bian Jin.
Shen Ni remembers the familiar-sounding footsteps she heard outside the entrance of Firewall Construction HQ while Diwu Que was hugging her, and wonders. She suddenly wants to ruffle Bian Jin’s hair, but feels that she doesn’t have the right. The ticking of the countdown to the effects of the anaesthetic wearing off reminds her that she needs to get to work.
She sterlises a pair of scissors and cuts Bian Jin’s robes open from the back (rather than rolling her over again to get to the ties at the front). Then she realises that Bian Jin is wearing one of the outfits Shen Ni gifted her for their wedding, which Bian Jin had previously told Auntie Wan was too bright for her. And yet Bian Jin had put it on, to go out with Shen Ni for the Shangyuan festivities. Bearing that in mind, Shen Ni wonders what Bian Jin felt when she saw her ‘wife’ being embraced by a strange woman. She also wonders how Bian Jin got so seriously injured.
Shen Ni carefully slices Bian Jin’s skin open, and covers up the rest of her with a surgical blanket, leaving only the small part of her body that requires attention exposed. Shen Ni works intensively, battling against the clock. Finally, she manages to remove Bian Jin’s jade core, and holds it in her hand. She remembers how excited Bian Jin had been the night before their shizun installed it in her body.
Then Shen Ni chucks the product of their shizun’s life’s work carelessly into a nearby bin, and draws out the jade core that she crafted for Bian Jin. She isn’t going to call it a ‘jade core’; it’s ‘Ni’s heart’, created exclusively for one person only. Shen Ni was only six years old when she was seized with the inspiration for it, and it’s taken her so many years to acquire the skill and financial means to actually craft it.
Shen Ni places ‘Ni’s heart’ into Bian Jin’s body and connects the new spine to it. Then she activates it. Bian Jin’s slumbering body trembles with the force of the new energy running through it, but the leather cuffs hold her securely to the workbench. Once the indicators show that the new jade core is fully activated, and that Bian Jin’s vital signs are returning gradually to normal, Shen Ni finally relaxes.
Shen Ni raises her weary head, her reddened eyes reflecting the newly-risen sun. She checks the date, and sees that three full days have passed since the Shangyuan festival. They must have taken down the Great Wheel of Fire by now, she thinks.
Tech watch: Too much stuff to enumerate
Named men: 6.5
Reverse Bechdel passes: 0
Re: Chapter 17
I still think something is going on with that great big fire wheel thing.
Re: Chapter 17
Boy, Shen Ni sure connected the dots pretty quickly ... figuring out almost instantly why Bian Jin said what she did before blacking out. I guess she's very in-tuned with Bian Jin. As one should be with the love of her life. :-)
Re: Chapter 17
Re: Chapter 17
Okay but for real...
- Nearly incapacitated, pushing through without a word, reaching the absolute limits of her endurance is such a good look on Bian Jin. And every time her extreme pain tolerance is mentioned or demonstrated I gain years to my lifespan.
- (as Shen Ni is laying her on the operating table) Shen Ni's torso cast a shadow that enveloped Bian Jin... oh, no metaphors here, I'm sure.
- Bian Jin asking/trying/intending to like... field-medicine herself through this??? This is my entire jam. Bian Jin what the fuck.
- The part where Shen Ni is like nah any hint of gentleness/submission in Bian Jin is an illusion or is actually something else... one of the things I enjoy in weaponisation themes is the way it sometimes plays with the idea of these perceptions as a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. Bian Jin is (was) the blade of the empire, a machine, without gentleness or softness - and if all those around her see her as such, how long or to what extent can she hold to the humanity she does in fact possess? Catnip to me, every time.
- The part where Shen Ni grips Bian Jin's wrist and says, deliberately cutting, 'You're overthinking it, Shijie. I am the doctor, you are the patient. In my eyes you are nothing but a broken machine, and who could harbour designs on a broken machine?'. The face I made at this. Deliberate cruelty is such a good look on Shen Ni, I'm kind of obsessed.
- You know that fanfic trope where it's like 'X wished they could curl up inside Y's ribcage and live there'? Anyway.
- 逆芯... girl I hope you don't think you're being subtle.
Re: Chapter 17
I will not spoil but you are in for such a treat. A series of treats, even.
I read this and the next chapter and immediately went, 'I MUST MAKE EVERYONE READ THIS.'